My Dear

Thank you for stopping

Thank you for ignoring

Thank you for not responding…

These -ings have pushed me back to my boundaries that I keep breaking for you. For the thought that I have already moved on, I was wrong all along. I still look for that touch… smile… laugh… and tease of yours… that I thought would form into something. In the end, I just received a response that is just more disappointing than the relief of clearing things out.

I wonder…

I wonder what happened in the past that is making me act like this in the present, or maybe nothing happened in the past, and that unsaid nothingness is the reason why I keep breaking the walls that I built to protect myself from hurting.

Hurting by myself because it’s just me who never stopped.

You never left my mind

This is the line in my mind that never had the chance to get out. I came up with this line from my first heartbreak because I thought that one day, a hopeful spark will appear when we unite again. I was supposed to use it again on the next one, but guess what? No one came back. But to you, my friend… after all the hopes that were formed in the anxiousness, darkness, and happiness…

I still can’t use the line.

Nothing happened… again.

To you, my friend. You are an addition to my collection of failed attempts. Thank you for hurting me once again. You have put me back to the place I should have never left.

Ps. Thankfully… I never truly loved you.